I’m traveling for business today and as is customary, I attempted to book my hotel room in conjunction with my co-workers. The hotel was sold out so I booked another…no biggie. I had the rental car so we drove to the first hotel and decided to check if a room had opened up; as luck would have it, one did! Yay, much less coordinating to do!

So I bid my co-worker fairwell and opened the door to my room…and the past because I just walked back into Houston. It didn’t even dawn on me this was a Residence Inn, the same place we called home for 6 weeks last summer. Maybe I wouldn’t have if the decor wasn’t identical to our rooms last year but it is. The same kitchen with the short fridge, the same desk, the same hunter green couch with gold and maroon stripes…same as the one we used to lay on with Declan and spend snuggle time together. Baby, you were everywhere! I could see your meds in the fridge, see your Daddy playing with you, spending time with your brothers, remembering the days and nights we spent there…praying what we were doing was curing, not harming you. Little did we know the battle we were fighting was taking a turn, a silent and deadly turn…

OMG, how can I stay here? I won’t make it. I can’t be here alone with all of these memories. Of course I can’t leave, well I mean I could but then I have to explain why and I don’t want to go through all that. Plus, am I going to run from this whenever it gets uncomfortable? No, of course not. So I’m trying hard to not feel sad but to think of the great times we had enjoying you last year. Remembering how much time we got to spend with you. I’m not sure how well I’ll sleep tonight because of this but I guess it’s just another step down the path. (Gosh I wish your Daddy was here with me.)