So you know when you have this project at work or a closet that needs to be cleaned out at home or garage that needs organized or the taxes that need to be done? And it just weighs on you. Every time you sit down at the computer or walk by the offending area, you feel awful. You feel heavy or guilty or off balance because your thoughts just keep going to what’s wrong or missing or still needing to be done. Feeling bad because you know there are things to do or steps to take and if you could just get them done how much better you would feel?

You know that feeling?

You know how you feel. You know that if you could just get it done or get on the other side of it, everything will be better.

It hit me like a ton of bricks while I was having a fantastic, I mean epic pity party today…

Losing a child is like that project…except the project has no end. The never ending project. There are no steps to take to get over it. There is no other side (at least not in this life). It will be there, forever. Tugging at you. Yes, there are better days than others (just like the ignored closet, some days it doesn’t matter…other days you want to throw in match and start over) but in the end…well that’s just it, there is no end.

The never ending project of mending a broken heart…missing a life that should still be. Longing to see a sweet face I can no longer touch.