As I imagine many of you did, I spent time reflecting on the events of 9/11 yesterday. I began my day by lighting a candle we received as a gift of comfort. The candle is from a non-profit called Heartworks in Bernardsville, NJ which was formed ‘in response to the kindness that sustained so many families in the months and years after September 11, 2001.’ The candle was burned at a 2009 September 11th memorial service and was blessed by the family members gathered. ‘It was blessed by the family members gathered at the Mass. So that by lighting it, their faith, endurance and resiliency are now being shared with you.’ We have lit this candle on many occasions and enjoyed the comfort of its glow.
I started yesterday by lighting this candle in rememberance of those who lost their lives in New York City, in Shanksville, PA and in our Nations Capital…just a short ride for where I sit now. The candle is now almost gone and I felt it was only right the final day it would be lit in our house was 9/11.
As I lay in bed last night I reflected on that day 10 years ago and the days that followed. The shock, disbelief and uneasy feeling that life as we knew it would never really be the same again. During my reflections, Declan weaved his way into my thoughts as he does so many times throughout each day, and I was struck with the similarities between the emotions we felt on 9/11 and the feelings a family deals with upon learning their child has cancer. How, in each case, a terrorist has invaded our lives and changed the fabric of our life. Different types of terrorists but each silent in their assault, each devastating to the structure it has attacked…to lives it has invaded.
In retrospect, the feelings I felt on 9/11 were almost identical to those I felt when I heard Declan had cancer. The initial shock and disbelief…are my eyes / ears deceiving me? In the days that followed, I remember watching the families desperately trying to find their loved ones. In the days that followed Declan’s diagnosis, we were frantically searching to find the right hospital, doctor and desperately hoping for the best in the worst possible situation. Then the realization that life would not be the same for us or Declan, that we were battling a new war…for the US, a war against a new form of terrorism; for our family, a war against a stealth and relentless terrorist invading the body of our child.
Just as worldwide terrorism still lives today, so does the battle being waged against childhood cancer. It is why we continue to Journey 4 A Cure. As I type this and reflect upon the huge task ahead of us, Stan just let me know dear sweet Gabby lost her battle last night. To say I am crushed is an understatement. Please pray for her family and all those fighting the terrorist that is cancer.
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