I think I have written lately only about the heartache, and it is a constant, but there is so much good too. The good is so much easier to collect, hold and enjoy. The harder moments are the ones that cling a bit more and linger in my head…the ones I need more time with, the ones I tend to write about. Today, I thought I’d share some good because truly, we are blessed.
I have 4 amazing boys…three I get to see everyday and one I get to feel everyday. Not at all what I envisioned but wow, we are blessed. Our boys are the reasons we get up every day. Believe me there are days when that is not the first item our agenda but then these 3 beautiful faces come into the room.
OK…who am I kidding, some days they drive me up the wall. I mean really, it is possible to get back talk in 3 different “languages” each day?! The 12 year old…”Oh Geez, Mom…you’re soooo annoying.”. The 4 year old…”I don’t want to eat/pick up my (fill in the blank).” And the darling 19 month old…(insert adorable little blonde head and chubby face…head shaking side to side) “No.” (insert same adorable face…more head shaking.) I mean really, don’t they know what we’re going through?
Of course they do, and of course they don’t…and I think it is truly what helps us. They are everything we need…good, bad and indifferent…it’s the joy of parenting (she said through a gritted-teeth smile after any one of the 3 scenarios above plays out).
But the good and sweet and fun moments are much more prevalent and remind us everyday about the blessing we have.
Cole’s newly found “voice” and all his blossoming vocabulary…”Pees” “Tank you” “Caahker” (aka cracker, which repeated more loudly in secession will elicit said cracker from us…I mean it will come back to bite us I’m sure but it’s so cute right now) “shoos” (aka shoes) “cah” (aka car)…I could go on it’s all just so adorable. I think the most cute is when he’s calling for his brothers…Baydeeee? Wullummmm? Or pointing to the pictures of Declan and saying Dahdah?
In-between the tween moments with Will, when you can see he’s had it with our ‘rules’ and see him stop, smile and say ok. Truly I feel so proud in those moments because I know how hard that is. To watch the joy he has in life, with all the bad his little world has been dealt, he is a true champion of joy. So blessed to call him my son.
And Brady…our ‘go’ in go-getter kid. There isn’t a bike or ball or climbing apparatus he’s not willing to try. Truly a free spirit who loves the outdoors. His huge heart matches his zeal for life. He is rough and tumble but truly a sweet angel. A true delight in our days.
Of course, sweet Declan, in those melancholy moments he finds a way to make me smile. A little something crosses my path that makes me smile…a butterfly, a dragonfly, a rainbow…gosh, there are so many things…and I know he is ok. Little things probably missed by most that bring me joy.
(Gosh, partial Mom or what?)
So I wanted to share that while a fair amount of what of written lately is sad there is so much joy too. Just wanted you to know.